Hello, sharks.
Wow, I haven’t written here in a hot second, have I? Truth be told, I haven’t had much reason to write. February came and went and knocked me out cold with the worst burnout I’ve experienced in years. Who knew that three years of a pandemic, the current economic and social climate as well as a very personal loss would do me in, huh?
After I stepped away from most of social media, I also lost more or less any reason to continue hustling art. All my motivation for maintaining a presence kind of disappeared over night and with it, my creative drive. And let me be the first to hammer home just how toxic this drive has been and of course I’m better without it. Yet I’m left recalibrating my entire brain. And that’s where I’m currently situated as I draft this post. I really wish that I for once could share something super uplifting and positive. That finally something went forward and upward in my life too. As it stands, that’s just not happening anytime soon, apparently. This has left me bitter, resentful and tired. Which in turn keeps me from reaching out to a lot of folks or even writing newsletters. No point spreading the foul plume of negativity.
Another unfortunate side effect induced by all of this; I hardly draw. The last couple of months I’ve barely opened Photoshop or touched my XP Pen. Thinking about art alone has been enough to send me into a state of anxiety. I feel lost and aimless; I’m at an intersection and I don’t know if there’s anything left here for me. I love art so incredibly much and it just doesn't love me back, it seems.
The last couple of days I’ve slowly tried to ease back in with a couple of simple drawings and redraws of older stuff. But I honestly do not know anymore. I’m just off-track.
Despite all of that, you did subscribe to my newsletter, so I will share what I’ve done with you all:
When I first created Loup and Daisy May, I tried too hard to make them look like actual shiba inus and tigers. Instead of calling it a mistake, which I’ve certainly done in the past, I’ll try to rewire my brain into saying; it’s just necessary to learn the shapes so I can further stylize them. Here’s the two year old piece as comparison:
Another tendency I’ve discovered is how I’ve over the last couple of years become too focused on details. And not the right kind of details. After I finished Witchcraft in 2020, I yearned for a more complex and ‘mature’ style. And I suspect in that search I strived too hard to distance myself from the more infantile look of Witchcraft to the point where everything just became stiff and cold. That’s another thing I wish to revert. Instead of shying away from the fun shapes and big expressions, I want to celebrate it and honor my roots in animation.
Another redraw of Loup where I’ve tried to incorporate the shapes I adopted in the chibi drawings of her. It’s surprisingly difficult to stylize to this extent without making it too silly or unrecognizable. I don’t know that I’m quite there yet, but I’m trying.
While I think the old drawing is relatively fine as is, it still suffers from what I described earlier. Loup lacks character and personality in the first one and it’s just ‘a pretty drawing.’ My hope is that in the redraw, people will be more curious about her and her story thanks to the lively shapes and the chosen expression.
In early 2020 I did this piece and I remember being so happy with it. It’s almost a little charming looking back at something so simple and recognizing how far I’ve come since then.
In an attempt to be more economical with my linework, I first went for a completely flat brush and cell shading. While I was happy with the sketch, I absolutely detested the end result. The colors are ugly and the lines lifeless. Too much is lost between the sketch and final product for me. So I let it rest of a while and then today I did these two:
Still not great, but at least it doesn’t look like something soulless and rushed. Here I actually ended up using an old Frenden brush; the same brush I inked all of Witchcraft with. Differentiating lineweight is difficult for me to this day, however I’ll never improve if I don’t try.
That’s it for the art talk this time around.
Before I wrap this up and head to bed (yes, I am committing the cardinal sin of writing emotional news letters after midnight, shame on me), I will leave you on an uplifting note. While my creative life feels like it’s in shambles right now, I’m truly flourishing creating the podcast together with Paul Duffield. In case you’ve missed it, back in February the two of us started a project called The Art of Comics. A bi-weekly podcast where we discuss one comic at the time. And honestly? It’s been a savior during these very difficult months. Finally taking time to sit down and take a crack at my huge collection has been almost therapeutic. If you’re interested in comics, please consider giving us a listen and if you like it, share it with a friend!
Or most places you listen to podcasts!
As well as socials:
This became a much longer post than I originally intended. Yet it’s been a long time so perhaps it was necessary. How have you been? Hope you’re doing well. Take care of yourself, love yourself and love one another.
-Jaws
Just wanted to say one thing that draws me to your art is your amazingly crisp, clean linework! I especially love the lines on your newest piece of Loup.
Hey Jaws,
Loup looks so cute! Before I read your following text after the picture, it's the same thing you saw, before she looked kinda "too clean" (in comparison) but I wouldn't say it's soulless. It looks rather afraid and unsecure compared to "new Loup" who look bold and fun. I'm so happy that I had tne chance to read your newsletter (bit later) and can't wait to read the next one!